


Gasoline

by FrostyChess



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Depression, F/M, Hannah and Beth are there too I guess ??, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Original Character POV, SPOILERS AHEAD, certain aspects may be inaccurate, i have hereby warned you, in spirit maybe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-10-03
Packaged: 2018-04-19 23:49:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrostyChess/pseuds/FrostyChess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>you can't wake up, this is not a dream</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Dance on our Graves [One Week Before]

**Author's Note:**

> I am totally obsessed with this game right now and I have a massive love for Josh, so, naturally, here we are. (totally not sorry)  
> also sorry the title isn't very original but i love the song and idk it matches, okay?  
> This first chapter actually turned out a fair lot more sad than i anticipated, if I'm honest, but I wanted to show that, even a year later, some people still feel grief like an open wound. It'll get happier, don't worry.  
> (well as happy as things can be when you're being chased by psycho who you thinks wants to kill you and a wendigo who _actually_ wants to kill you)
> 
> [Soundtrack for this chapter - 'Dance on our Graves', by Paper Route]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a year later and Kenzie struggles to gather herself enough to go back to the lodge.

It’s raining, large golf balls that thunder against the window and make her grateful she’s locked herself away in her room.

Clothes are strewn across the floor, forgotten when she’d escaped to her room before, when she’d stripped and changed back into her pyjamas. She hasn’t moved from the window since then, wrapped in the duvet from her bed and clutching tight to a worn and dirty purple teddy bear.

Across the room, on her cluttered desk, her phone buzzes again.

She barely glances up.

It hasn’t stopped all week, hasn’t stopped since Josh put out _that_ video, proposed that idea she hated to admit was actually _pretty_ good.

Since he addressed that ‘ _elephant in the room_ ’…

The glass pane mists where her breath hits, distracts her momentarily from the drops racing towards the bottom. She watches with sad eyes, blinks away tears that sting her eyes.

Her iPod lays forgotten by her hand on the window sill, the buds still in her ears even though the album she was listening to finished an hour ago. The blank screen reflects the dark grey sky outside, the raindrops still engaged in their race to reach the bottom of the glass pane.

Her phone buzzes again.

And again.

She leans her forehead against the cool glass, lets her eyes drift shut, lets her hands clutch at the matted fur of her teddy bear.

There’s a knock at the door; it creaks as it’s pushed open. She hears it hit the glass that was on the floor, hears the thud as it hits the floor and rolls.

“Kenzie, honey?”

It’s her mother, wearing that oversized jumper with the sparkly fox on it and her cheeks dusted with flour. There’s food colouring on her fingertips, on the backs of her hands – red.

She’s holding the phone in her hand and her eyes dart towards Kenzie’s desk, where books lie open and her phone buzzes again.

“Sam’s on the phone for you,” she says, hopefully, wearing the smile Kenzie recognises from when she used to meet her after sessions with her therapist.

The small smile that matches the hopeful look in her eyes; the small smile, tight lipped, no teeth, that matches her hopeful words: _please try – for us, for_ them.

Kenzie nods. Her hand reaches out from under her duvet cocoon, grasping the white receiver tightly.

She waits for her mother to shut the door, waits until she hears her footsteps on the stairs. “Hey Sam.”

“Hey,” is the reply, rushed and relieved. Kenzie can only assume most of the buzzes are from Sam. “How are you?”

“Been better.”

“You’re not… getting bad again, are you?”

_Getting bad:_ the two words code for, ‘ _you’re not going crazy again, are you?_ ’

She shakes her head, forgets that Sam can’t see her. “No.”

Sam exhales into the receiver, in a manner Kenzie thinks she’s supposed to feel comforted by – ( _we’re your friends, Kenz, let us help you_ , _we’re all in this together_ except they’re _not_ ) – but instead she scowls at the rip in her duvet cover, picks at the scab on her knee until it bleeds.

“Gee, loads of faith you’ve got in me, huh?”

Sam is silent for a long while, considering her words carefully. “That’s not it, Kenz, come on. We’re worried about you.”

_Ah, the all-encompassing ‘we’_ , she thinks bitterly.

“You haven't answered anyone’s calls or texts. It’s been days.”

“I know.”

“Josh really wants you to be there, Kenz. He’s really worried.”

It’s really not fair that Sam knows her so well, that she knows just how to make her eyes light up _just that little bit_ , how to grab her attention.

But that doesn’t change how _wrong_ the whole thing feels.

She tells Sam so.

“Yeah, I know,” she replies. “We all think so.”

“Even Josh?”

“I think so. Or, at least, he knows how weird it is for everyone else.”

“It doesn’t seem right,” Kenzie says, after a long pause. “It won’t be the same, not without…”

The names go unsaid, their two lost friends, lost to a stupid ‘ _prank_ ’, still missing somewhere on that mountain.

“I know,” Sam says. Kenzie’s fingers fiddle with the rip in her duvet cover again, tugging at the lose threads. “But it’s for Josh.”

She exhales slowly, tries to ease the frown from her face.

“It doesn’t feel _right_ ,” she says again. “I dunno, Sam.”

“He really wants you there, Kenz,” Sam tries again. “Especially after everything you did to try and help. It wouldn’t feel right without _you_.”

Nothing about this phone call feels right to Kenzie – it should be Beth calling her, begging her to come up to the mountain with them, convincing her they were going to have the time of their lives, that they were going to _party like fucking pornstars_.

She blinks back tears again, swallows against the burn in her throat.

“Okay,” she whispers into the receiver. “I’ll text Josh and let him know.”

She hangs up before she can hear Sam’s reply, tears breaking free, clutching the bear like a lifeline, sobbing into its dirty fur. It smells like them, like the twins, a strange mix of their perfumes, from when they’d wrapped it for her and surprised her with it on her birthday.

_I should have done more_ , she thinks, vision blurry with tears, _I should have done more._

She hates herself for crying like this, hates herself for wallowing in her sorrow. She can hear her therapist’s words in her ears, bouncing around in her mind like a yo-yo: _you’re stronger than your grief. You’re stronger than your depression. Would they want to see you like this_?

She unfurls herself from the window, slowly, and lets the duvet fall to the floor while she holds the bear in one hand. She sets it gently on the desk, swaps it for her phone while she pops open her bottle of anti-depressants.

_Time to get back on the wagon_ , she thinks, swallowing it dry even as she hears Ashley’s voice in her head, warning her of all the bad things that happen when people dry swallow pills.

“I’ll get a drink in a minute,” she mutters to herself, as though her friend is actually in the room with her. “I will.”

Her thumbs move fast on the screen, the weight familiar and welcome after so long staring out at window at nothing. She hits send a minute later, staring at the two words and considering retracting them over and over again.

_I’m in_.


	2. Round and Round [Ten Hours Until Dawn]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenzie and Sam meet Chris and wait for the cable car that will take them back to Blackwood Mountain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first - i'm totally overwhelmed by the response to the first chapter. I've never had so many hits and kudos in such a short space of time, so that was really great for me. Thank you all so much!  
> this is mostly just a filler chapter, introducing a few more people - chris and sam, yay! a little more about kenzie, but not overly much.  
> also i may not be able to get another one up until later next week. I'm seeing florence and the machine on monday (aaahhh) and i have to start preparing for my return to uni (eeekk)  
> Enjoy!
> 
> [Chapter Soundtrack - 'Round and Round', by Imagine Dragons]

She’s shaken awake by a gentle hand on her shoulder and an urgent voice speaking over the music in her ears.

“Kenz? Come on, we’re here.”

“Already?”

She blinks the sleep from her eyes and her vision clears slowly. Sam is standing next to her, hovering in the aisle with her hand still on Kenzie’s shoulder.

“You slept pretty much the whole way here,” her friend tells her, smiling bemusedly. “I don’t think there was a time when I looked over and you were actually awake.”

Kenzie drags herself to her feet, grabbing for her backpack with sluggish movements. She hasn’t woken up properly and knows that if it weren’t for Sam shaking her awake, she’d probably be on her way back down the mountain again as they speak.

The cold mountain air wakes her right up as she steps out of the bus and onto the snowy road.

Everything is exactly like she remembers; the sign that reads ‘BLACKWOOD PINES’ in bold letters still swings noiselessly above their heads. There’s still that rusty old chain wound around the fence, over and over again and the gate still creaks when it opens.

Kenzie yawns again and adjusts her scarf and hat against the chill.

“Why did you think it was a good idea to get the latest bus up here again?” she asks Sam, rubbing her hands together and wishing she’d been organised enough to buy a new pair of gloves. She’s pretty sure her old pair are still in the lodge somewhere, left behind in their haste to leave the mountain after all that happened last year.

“Josh said we all had to be here at a certain time,” Sam replies. The snow crunches under foot as they continue up the path. “No earlier, no later.”

“Huh.”

There certainly hadn’t been a rule like that last year, but then Beth had invited Kenzie up earlier anyway, to hang out with her a little before everyone else arrived, to help set up for the party.

Kenzie sighs, wipes at her nose where it’s starting to run.

“Jesus, it’s cold,” she mutters to herself.

Sam opens her mouth to reply but pauses half way through, glances over her shoulder and around them, into the shadow of the trees. She’s frowning.

“Did you hear that?” she whispers. Kenzie drops her hands to her sides, stops her futile struggle to warm them up.

“No,” she says. “This better not be one of your stupid jokes, Sam, I swear to god…”

“Hello?” Sam calls out. She turns to look down the path where they’d just come. Their footsteps stare back innocently, the only two sets in the snow. “Is someone there?”

“I think you’re just being paranoid,” Kenzie says, walking ahead, feet getting number by the second. “Can we just get to the cable car, please?”

Sam looks at Kenzie, smiles gently, tension seeming to ease out of her shoulders. “I’d say if anyone is paranoid, it’s you, Kenz. Why are you in such a hurry?”

“Because you’ve freaked me out!”

“Or maybe it’s because of the certain _someone_ waiting for you at the top of the _mountain_ ,” she sing-songs, fingers jabbing Kenzie in the side. Kenzie swipes at her hands, bats them away from her, steps back to glare heatedly. Her cheeks are aflame.

“Knock it off, Sam!”

Sam chuckles and the large, black gate leading to the cable car station comes into view. Kenzie frowns when she sees it closed and doesn’t remember it being like that last year.

“Has the gate always been closed?” she asks Sam as they get closer. Sam’s frowning too, about to answer her when she stops, reaching for the gate. Kenzie eyes a note stuck to the metal, recognises Chris’s messy scrawl on the white sheet.

She doesn’t remember the gate being this ominous looking either. She shudders, feels like someone is watching her back – or walking over her grave.

“Great,” Sam says, showing her the note. Kenzie sighs again, feels like it won’t be her last for the weekend.

“Lovely,” she mutters. “Just how I wanted to start the weekend.”

“Come on. It’ll be easy.”

“ _Easy_. Pfft.  Easy for _you_ , maybe, with all the climbing _you_ do.”

“I’ll help you,” Sam tells her. “It’ll be fine.”

_Not what I’m worried about_ , Kenzie thinks. She follows Sam to the stone wall over at the side, eying the gate critically, hoping that it might swing open under her heated stare.

It doesn’t.

Sam is quick and fearless, grasping stone after stone and heaving herself up and Kenzie watches with a gaping mouth as her friend jumps the remaining distance, pulling herself up quickly to the top and kneeling there, hand outstretched to pull her up.

Kenzie swallows and opts for slow and steady and _safe_.

Her fingers clutch at the stone face as her feet struggle to find purchase. She’s not sure how Sam managed to make it look so easy, how she can be kneeling at the top so eloquently with her hand outstretched and not a hair out of place.

She’s not even out of breath.

Kenzie disturbs the snow in front of her with heavy puffs of air, stomach churning as clambers to the top. She doesn’t jump like Sam did, knows for a fact if she tries she’ll fall off, and her strength is waning already.

She takes Sam’s hand gratefully, tries to ignore the look Sam gives her as she tries to catch her breath. Sam lands perfectly on her feet when they jump off. Kenzie’s ankle gives and she lands hard on the snow, jeans coated in white and hands turning bright pink in the cold.

Sam can’t stop laughing as Kenzie dusts herself off with a pout.

“That wasn’t funny,” she mutters, arms across her chest. She rubs her arms, tries to warm herself back up. “Can we just get to the cable car already? Please?”

“Come on,” Sam says and there’s still a hint of a laugh in her voice.

Kenzie tries to relax but it still feels like there’s a dark cloud hanging above her head, above the mountain. She recalls her words to Sam on the phone before ( _it doesn’t feel_ right) and can’t help but feel like those words are going to taint the weekend for her.

She watches Sam feed a squirrel, watches her friend grin as the tiny creature eats nuts out of the palm of her hand. She didn’t even see the creature come out of the bushes.

“Do you just keep nuts in your pocket just in case something like this happens?” she asks when Sam stands again. Sam shrugs.

“I was snacking on them on the bus,” she says.

“You were snacking on _nuts_? You don’t snack on _nuts_ , Sam. You snack on chips, or candy or – or – _hell_ , you snack on _nuts_? I cannot _wait_ to tell Chris.”

“Hey check this out.” She laughs a little. “Huh. Cool.”

Kenzie looks over Sam’s shoulder, scans the sign Sam is studying quickly. She’s always been a fast reader, one of her many useless attributes, and she exhales loudly when she’s done.

“I didn’t know butterflies had such a huge significance,” she says, brushing her hair behind her ear as she reads it over again.

“Me either. Come on, the cable car station should be just up ahead.”

The path opens up into a large clearing and, sure enough, the station is just to the right. Sam is walking towards the sign beside the mountain edge. Kenzie spies the bench outside the station gratefully, imagines that there’s a halo of light and around it and angels singing, and walks quickly towards it.

She dumps her bag like she’s carrying a ton of bricks when really it’s just her clothes, cushioning something much more valuable. She thinks of the small purple teddy bear buried at the bottom of her bag, wonders what Josh will think of her for bringing it up here.

She worries at her lip, tries to form an explanation now while she can, so it’s ready for when she inevitably has to tell him.

_I seem like such an idiot_ , she thinks, dropping her head into her hands. _He’ll probably say I’m an idiot_.

Chris’s backpack is on the bench beside her, his phone hanging out the side of the pocket and buzzing irritably. She’s reminded of the isolation she put herself into the week before and can’t remember her own phone being that annoying when it buzzed non-stop.

She drops her bag on the ground and settles onto the cold bench, dragging her feet up to sit cross-legged while she waits. It’s getting darker now, the sun setting and the shadows around them disappearing into darkness. The trees look a lot more threatening now, silhouetted.

“There’s graffiti on the sign,” Sam tells her as she approaches. She’s looking around the station, and Kenzie assumes she’s watching for their other friend, wondering where he could have gone off to.

“Huh,” Kenzie replies, thinking nothing much of it. “Must be dedicated to come all the way out here. What’s it say?”

“’The past is beyond our control’,” Sam tells her. She put on a tone of voice Kenzie would equate with a ghost from a horror movie. “Weird, right?”

Kenzie frowns at Sam, cocks her head to the side. Surely Sam isn’t going to just brush the words off? It can’t be just a coincidence, not after everything that happened last year…

Kenzie shakes her head, tries to clear her mind of those thoughts. She’s here for Josh, not to continue to grieve. They’re here for _closure_. After this weekend, it’ll all be _over_.

“Yeah,” she agrees. She’s pleased that her voice doesn’t waver, that she sounds just as relaxed as Sam does. “Weird.”

_It’s just a little graffiti_ , Kenzie thinks, rubbing her hands together, hoping that if she keeps them in constant movement Sam won’t notice that they’re shaking. _It’s just a little graffiti_.

“Chris?” Sam calls out and Kenzie’s glad for the change in subject. “Are you here?”

“His bag’s here,” Kenzie tells her, gesturing to the abandoned backpack. Chris’s phone buzzes again. Sam smirks, reaches for it.

“Hello, what do we have here?”

“Sam, come on, just leave it. You wouldn’t like it if someone snooped around with your stuff.”

Sam looks like she wants to grab it anyway, wants to ignore Kenzie’s voice of reason and sate her own curiosity. Then, she zips up the pocket it’s sticking out of, pouts at Kenzie as she straightens up again.

“Ugh, you’re no fun.”

“It’s not very nice to snoop.”

Kenzie’s very aware that she sounds like her mother, doesn’t need Sam to point it out (which she does anyway, like the amazing friend she is) but she knows she wouldn’t like people touching her things and she knows Chris wouldn’t appreciate it either.

Sam zips up Chris’s bag and the buzzing noise becomes less irritable. She calls his name again, looks back towards the woods where they’d just came from. Kenzie thinks she sees a shadow passing through the trees, watching them, but when she blinks it’s gone.

“Sam, hey, you made it!”

Chris is just like Kenzie remembers; smiley and happy, looking genuinely pleased to see them – Sam. His eyes drift to Kenzie and she sees that ridiculous denim shirt he always wears tucked under his jacket.

_Don’t say it, don’t say it, don’t say it_.

“Hey, Kenz… uh… how’re you doing?”

“Hi. I’m good. Nice shirt.”

_Damn it_.

Chris looks down at himself, fingers the collar of the blue denim. Kenzie stares at the snow falling around them, bites her lip and wishes she could smack her head against a wall. Why did she say that? Why is she making things awkward – the exact opposite of what she wants?

“Uh, thanks. So, I found something kinda amazing.” He grabs his bag, swings it over his shoulder and nearly hits Kenzie in the face. She’s glad he’s moving on, not lingering on her stupid comment. He leads Sam away, doesn’t bother looking behind him to see if Kenzie’s following.

She huffs but doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t move from her perch on the bench either, though she’s not sure if it’s out of spite for not being outwardly invited, or if she just can’t be bothered.

In the end, she settles against the bench, pulls her iPod out of her pocket. The buds are cold as she places them in her ears and she adjusts her scarf again, coughing lightly. She still hasn’t shook the feeling that she’s being watched, knows that Chris and Sam probably don’t feel it at all, and she blames that feeling for her being unable to put the volume up as loud as she usually has it.

Kenzie glances down at her iPod screen, scrolls through her collection of music. She can’t find something to fit her mood, nothing that fits the atmosphere.

She thinks she sees something move in the trees, a shadow passing in front of her eyes, but when she glances up, she’s alone. She sees shapes and silhouettes, nothing definitive, but thinks it wouldn’t be impossible for someone to hide in the darkness, watching.

_Waiting_.

Kenzie’s thumb hovers over a song, one she wants to listen to regardless of its age, but she chuckles at herself, at the turn of her thoughts. She feels like she’s in a bad horror movie and that a monster is going to emerge from the trees and maul her any moment now.

_Probably just a deer_ , she thinks, rolling her eyes, _you’re being silly. Why would anyone else be up here?_

Three songs later, Chris and Sam round the corner and their conversation seems to cut off abruptly. Kenzie’s wave is half-hearted, tired, but she forces herself to her feet and to the door of the station.

The door doesn’t budge.

“That’s weird,” says Sam. She looks at the two of them. “The door’s locked.”

Kenzie feels like this should be setting off warning bells in her head. Everything is so different, so strange, and she doesn’t remember the cable car station being locked last year, just like she can’t remember the gate ever being closed for them.

“ _Yeah_ ,” says Chris. “Josh wanted us to keep it locked. ‘Keep people out’.”

“He _said_ that?” Sam sounds as surprised as Kenzie, shooting Chris a disbelieving look that’s far more tame than the one Kenzie wants to. “What people?”

Chris steps forward, slides the key in the lock. “I don’t know. He said they found people sleeping in the station one time.”

Kenzie shudders, can see why that might be cause for worry. The door swings open.

“Creepy,” Sam mutters. Kenzie realises she’s still holding her bag in her hand. She swings it over her shoulder, realises too late that she could have gotten close to Chris and nearly hit him in payback for earlier.

“Ladies, after you,” he says, gesturing through the doorway.

“A real gentleman,” Sam teases as she steps in.

“Thanks,” Kenzie mutters. She feels like she’s getting in between something here, that she’s the third wheel in this strange scenario.

Chris locks the door behind them and for some reason, Kenzie feels like she’s just sold her soul.

She follows Sam to the rail, watches the cable car slowly make its way towards them.

“Uh, I thought it was closer,” she says aloud. “Why can’t it be closer?”

“I’m starting to get the appeal of killing time at the shooting range,” Sam agrees. “How long is this gonna take?”

“Wait, what? There’s a _shooting range_?”

“Uh, yeah,” says Chris from the back. He’s looking around, nosing at everything, Kenzie thinks. “You’d know that if you’d joined us!”

Kenzie doesn’t have a reply. He’s right, after all. She could have gotten off the bench and saw what the fuss was about. She pouts, stares pointedly at the mountain they’re about to ascend. In one ear, her music still plays, a slow alternative sounding song she can’t remember putting on there.

_It was probably Beth_ , she thinks, pulling the device from her pocket to check the band. _She was always putting bands I’ve never even heard of on here_.

She presses skip as soon as that thought crosses her mind, doesn’t need to be getting herself down so early in the weekend. There’ll be time for all that after she’s sufficiently drunk tomorrow afternoon because then she won’t even remember if she does start grieving and crying again.

_God, I really hope Josh isn’t the one to have to deal with me if I get like that_ , she thinks, twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger. _That’s just what I need. That would put him off me forever, probably_.

The car draws into place with a groaning and clunking that Kenzie _knows_ hasn’t changed from last year. The door slides open, hits the window too hard when it stops.

The thing is a wreck. Kenzie’s not sure it’ll get them even half way up.

“Finally,” Sam says. “You guys coming?”

“Well, you know, I was just gonna stay here,” Chris says, taking the words right out of Kenzie’s mouth. “Catch some z’s… but _okay_.”

Maybe not so much the second part, she thinks.

Sam enters first and Kenzie enters last, hesitant, looking around at the small station, wondering if it’s too late to turn back.

Kenzie settles across from Chris and Sam, where they’ve sat side by side facing backwards, and drops her bag in between her feet. Kenzie feels slightly better that she’s facing the direction of travel – at least then she’ll be able to tell if something goes wrong ahead and they’re about to die.

 “Just like going to the prom,” Chris says, completely relaxed, staring out the window, waiting for the scenery to shift.

“Yeah, ‘cause you took two girls to prom,” Kenzie says with a laugh, anchoring onto her two friends and jokes and refusing to look outside. She’d gone with Beth, the two of them without dates, and they’d danced the night and their troubles away.

“It’s their loss,” Beth had said, wearing a bright smile and taking her hand, leading her to the dancefloor. Her feet had ached by the end but it hadn’t mattered.

She still thinks it was one of the best nights of her life.

“Here we go!” Sam cuts in and Kenzie tries not to fall off her seat as the car detaches and begins its ascent.

She feels like she might be sick.

“Right! The adventure begins!”

Kenzie scoffs. “ _Ha_. Yeah. Adventure.”  

“Come on, Kenz.” Chris leans over, punches her gently in the arm. Kenzie frowns – he’s done that before but never as lightly as that, and always with a happy-go-lucky smile on his face afterwards, not that cringe he’s got going on. “It’ll be fun. You’ll see.”

“Chris,” Sam groans. Chris shrugs, looks like his mother just scolded him for not being nice enough to his crazy cousin Maurice.

Kenzie hopes she’s not crazy cousin Maurice in this situation.

She looks between the two of them, confused, nervous, feeling like she’s missed something here, some piece of a puzzle.

Sam chooses the right moment to change the subject, to draw attention back to the reason they’re all there in the first place, _Hannah and Beth_.

Kenzie’s grip tightens on her bag strap until her knuckles turn white. She’s not sure if she can do this, not sure if she can get closure on this, not sure if she can go up there again. She’s not sure if she can go through this weekend thinking about them the whole time, wondering what it would be like if they were still with them.

_I should have done more, should have done_ more.

It’s too late to turn back, too late, and her hands are shaking and she can’t _stop_ thinking about it.

“Kenz, you okay?”

Sam is worried, frowning, reaching for her. Kenzie’s grip slackens, her bag lands at her feet. Kenzie remembers the bear inside it, the reason she found the strength to come back here. She swallows, nods wordlessly.

Sam isn’t convinced. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” Kenzie tries to convince. Her voice breaks and she coughs before she speaks again. “It’s probably just jitters. I’ll be fine once we get up there.”

“I totally agree,” Chris cuts in. “I mean, I haven’t seen Josh so excited about something in _forever_.”

“This is definitely the right thing to do then?”

“Definitely.”

Kenzie is strangely comforted by Chris telling her this is the right thing to do. She feels better having someone say it aloud, someone other than _Sam_ , having someone air her doubts and tell her she’s doing the right thing.

“Good, good,” Sam says, nodding. Kenzie thinks the tension has eased from the car, that the worry about what having everyone together will do has cleared. “It’s hard to tell with him and I – I’ve been kinda worried.”

Kenzie knows exactly what Sam means. Before last year, before Kenzie got _bad_ , before Josh got _bad_ , she and Josh were close. Apparently Sam had fulfilled that role while Kenzie tried to get her shit together.

_Huh. Maybe I didn’t really get it together. More like I collected it and it’s all seeping through my fingers anyway._

“No, no, it was – it was a good idea,” Chris says. Kenzie wonders if he knows he’s the only voice of sanity in the car, wonders if he finds it as strange as she does, the role reversal. She remembers a time where she used to be in his shoes, convincing everyone they were doing the right thing, watching everyone else try to wrap their heads around it.

_God, what happened_? _How did things get so messed up_?

“I hope everyone else feels the same way.”

“We’re all here aren’t we?”

Sam lifts the mood, punching Chris’s arm, imitating the phrase she’s heard he and Josh use so many times. Kenzie even laughs, breaking the ice a little.

“Don’t ever do that again,” she tells Sam, a smile still stretching her lips. Sam smiles back at her and Kenzie relaxes even more, feels herself slowly letting it all _go_.

_Maybe this weekend won’t be so bad_. _Maybe everything we’ll be okay_.

And even though they haven’t been talking about _it_ specifically (no one has actually said any names, even though Kenzie knows they’re all probably thinking about it because who can’t really?), Chris suggests they stop talking about _it_ and just enjoy the trip.

Kenzie has never agreed with him more.


	3. Demons [Nine Hours Until Dawn]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chris breaks into the lodge, Jess and Em fight, and Kenzie needs a nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I am still so overwhelmed that people actually like this fic. It's still elating to bring up my page and see the hit count rise every time. To everyone giving this fic a chance; I thank you. To everyone leaving kudos; I love you. Thank you!  
> Also- it's looking like this fic will be updated on Sundays, lovelies. So please be patient with me :). 
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack - 'Demons' by Imagine Dragons.

Kenzie hears him before she sees him, hears his voice, loud but with that slight mumble to it, just like she remembers.

Chris is shouting before they’re even in the gate, shouting his greetings, his jokes, his _bro_ ’s. Sam closes the gate behind them, places her hand gently on Kenzie’s arm in comfort. Josh and Chris hug it out, all grins and smiles and laughs, and Kenzie wishes she had Jess’s confidence, Emily’s snark.

Anything other than the nervous churning of her stomach.

Sam is next, pulled into a hug Kenzie knows from experience is always warm and comforting and _amazing_ and they’re laughing and smiling at each other, eyes twinkling in a way that would make Kenzie jealous if she wasn’t such close friends with Sam.

He sees her last, as if looking through glass, and all she can muster is a half-hearted wave, the dark voice in the back of her mind telling her Sam was lying, that Josh doesn’t actually want her here, that she’s _wrong_ , that this is _wrong_ –

He smells like pine and smoke and that god awful expensive cologne she’s always hated but come to associate with him. He clutches her tight, mumbles, “It’s so good to see you,” in her ear and the dark voice shrivels up and disappears into a dark corner. His head is buried in her neck for the longest time and he’s holding her for longer than he did Sam or Chris.

It’s nice but she doesn’t understand why.

“Long time no see, stranger,” she whispers, relaxing against him. Her arms come up, circling his back, clutching him as tight as he does her.

Josh laughs in her ear. “Yeah. It’s been a while.”

Her eyes are squeezed shut, and she drowns in him, forgets just how much she missed him all this time. For a moment, she almost forgets her hesitations about coming back to the lodge, forgets why she was ever wary at all.

She hears the click, feels the auto flash. She and Josh step away from each other as if burned and Kenzie mourns the loss of his heat, watches him stand to full height and face Chris.

“Bro, what the hell?” he demands but he’s smiling, gently confused.

Chris shrugs, pockets his phone. “I couldn’t _not_.”

“It _was_ cute,” Sam pipes in from beside him, eyes twinkling and lips pulled into a cheeky grin.

Kenzie’s cheeks are on fire and she refuses to look at Josh, refuses to look anywhere but at the snow dusting her boots. Josh has left her side, started walking towards the lodge, mumbling under his breath. Kenzie rubs her arms, shifts awkwardly on her feet and follows wordlessly as they trudge up to the lodge.

She comes out of her trance when Josh calls loudly, “Hey guys. Get here okay?”

Ashley has her knees drawn to her chest, sitting on the lodge steps, shivering.

“Yeah,” she answers and her smile looks more like a grimace. She adjusts her beanie, avoids looking at Matt. Kenzie’s brow furrows as she looks at the jock, standing off to the side and staring moodily at the ground.

“Well,” Ashley adds, sees the confused stares directed at Matt. “More or less. But it’s so good to see you!”

Kenzie isn’t sure who she’s talking to – Josh or her.  

Her fingers fiddle with the earbuds dangling in front of her, considering popping them back in her ears and isolating herself from everyone else. She stares longingly at the door, wonders why they’re not inside yet, why Ashley is sitting on the steps _freezing her buns off_ (as she would say).

“Kenz, hey,” says a voice to her left, right before she can pick a song to drown herself in. Kenzie blinks, drops the earbud in front of her again, sees the letterman jacket before anything else.

Matt’s hug is quick, fleeting, and it’s only just crossed her mind that maybe she should be returning it when he’s pulling away. His hand lingers on her elbow and he lowers himself to her height.

He’s exactly like Kenzie remembers; all gentle giant and comforting smiles, nothing like the sulking hulk he’d been a few minutes ago. Kenzie casts a look around for Emily, remembers Sam telling her when they first got on the bus that they’re a thing now.

“Must be a lot of resentment there,” she’d said as she selected a song to listen to. Sam had hummed in agreement.

“There is.”

“How’re you doing?”

Kenzie frowns, wonders how many times she’s going to hear that phrase this weekend. Her bag feels heavy though she’s not sure if it’s because her pills are suddenly weighing her down or if she’s just been lugging it around too long.

“Yeah, I’m good,” she says, forcing a smile. Over Matt’s shoulder, she sees Chris and Josh, standing by the lodge door, joking and laughing. Matt nods, smiles, his hand drops from her elbow. She’d forgotten it was there.

She’s not sure Emily would appreciate the friendly gesture, even if she knows Kenzie has no interest in Matt.

 “It’s weird being back, don’t you think?”

Kenzie nods in answer to Matt’s question, grateful that he’s changed the subject so quickly. He’s always been so understanding, so quick to step in and make sure everyone is happy. Kenzie doesn’t find it hard to believe that he found something good in Emily, something worth loving. It’s just how he is.

“Definitely,” she says, eyes travelling to the lodge steps, watching Josh and Chris coming back down, turning left, disappearing round the corner. She frowns. “Where are they going now?”

Matt angles himself towards the lodge, watches the two leave. He sighs. “Don’t think we’re getting in there any time soon. Em will flip if she gets back here and the door isn’t open.”

“Speaking of _Em_ ,” Kenzie says. She eyeballs Matt, asks her wordless question with a pointed look. Matt rubs the back of his neck, huffs a laugh.

“Uh, yeah,” he says. “Guess it just kinda happened. She and Mike split, we got to talking, the rest is history.”

“I’m sure there’s more to it than _that_ ,” Kenzie argues. She’s smiling, wide and bright, and she punches Matt lightly on the shoulder. “Come on, Sam said you were _totally smitten_.”

Matt starts walking away from her, looking embarrassed, still rubbing the back of his neck. “Come on, Kenz, what d’you want me to say?”

“I want all the juicy _details_! Where did you take her for your first date? What was your first kiss like? When did everything _start_? Come on, Matt, don’t leave me hanging here!”

“I think you’re mistaking me for one of your _girlfriends_ , Kenz. Maybe you should ask Em all this stuff. God knows she doesn’t really have anyone else to talk to since she and Jess… y’know.”

“Huh? What happened with Em and Jess?”

“Jeez, Kenz, next time you go crazy, try to get caught up on everything before coming back to the land of the living.”

Kenzie laughs to hide the churning in her gut, the catching of her breath in her throat. Matt’s expression seems to freeze, his eyes wide and Kenzie needs to act fast, needs to fix this before word gets around that that she’s still not _okay,_ that they all need to watch their words.

She’s not going to ruin their weekend with her _crazy_.

“Next time I’ll study,” she says, smiling, glad her voice doesn’t sound as strained as she feels. “Take notes and everything.”

Matt’s smile is relieved, relaxed, and they reach Ashley at the bottom of the lodge steps. Sam leans against the stairs, watches the trail, the snow drifting down around them like a beautiful wonderland. Ashley is still shivering but she gets to her feet as they approach, joins Sam.

“Chris just tried to play a dumb prank,” Sam says, leading the way to the door. Ashley follows close behind. “It didn’t work.”

“If it showed him to be the dumbass we all know he is then I think it was a success,” Kenzie pipes in, grinning. She tries to ignore the scowl Ashley sends her way, forgets another vital piece of information Sam had filled her in on coming up the mountain.

 _Jesus_ , she thinks and she wants to face palm. She’s only been here for an hour and already she’s made a fool out of herself twice. _Can this weekend get any worse?_

Ashley mutters about her freezing buns again and all eyes turn to the door as it swings open, Chris shaking out his hand, holding a can of deodorant in one hand. Kenzie rolls her eyes.

“Was that hot?” she asks, lips tilted upwards in a smirk.

Chris ignores her, bows dramatically as they all pile in. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week –“

He cuts off with a yelp Kenzie wishes she’d caught on camera and Sam laughs at the wolverine scurrying out of the lodge. It disappears into the bushes beside the path, out of sight and out of mind. Chris shudders, still clutching the deodorant can in his hand. Kenzie spies the word _Inferno_ on it, emblazoned in a loud font and crimson letters.

“Jeez, that thing creeped me out.”

“What was it?” Ashley’s laughing, barely able to get the words out. Chris’s cheeks are bright red and Kenzie imagines he’s probably cursing the tiny wolverine over and over again as they speak.

“It was like a bear or a tiger or something –“

Kenzie thinks her eyes are about to roll out of her head. Of course he would try to downplay it, she thinks, typical man, acting all tough.

Sam does the honours before she can. “ _Aw_ , it was just a cute little _baby_ wolverine.”

Kenzie feels a hand brush her elbow, feels herself being gently nudged to the side as Josh joins their huddle at the door. She briefly wonders where he’d gotten off to; she thought he’d been in the lodge with Chris, getting the door open.

Josh seamlessly fits into the conversation like he’s been there the whole time. “Don’t worry buddy, you’re gonna be a big boy soon.”

Kenzie must be imagining things because she’s sure she hears a threat in his voice.

Snow falls off their boots onto the expensive carpet at their feet as they trudge inside. It’s no warmer inside the lodge than it is outside but it’s exactly like Kenzie remembers.

It’s still far too big and spacious and she still feels like she’s standing inside a museum when she enters, with all its paintings on the walls and sculptures on the tables. She still feels like just holding the vase on the table would be desecrating it and there’s still that god awful chandelier hanging above their heads.

Kenzie frowns at it, remembers the first thing she’d said last year when Beth had led her into the room: “ _Who the hell_ thought _that_ was a good idea?”

Beth had then informed her that it had cost _thousands_ of dollars and it was a _work_ of art and should be appreciated as such.

Kenzie still hates it.

“I know that look,” Josh says, walking past her. He’s heading for the fireplace. “You _still_ hate that thing.”

Kenzie shrugs, doesn’t even try to convince him otherwise. “Y’know, Beth said it would grow on me but it really hasn’t.”

She doesn’t realise what she’s done until everyone is staring at her. Kenzie blinks, tries to recall when Sam told her about the _don’t mention Hannah or Beth_ rule but she doesn’t think she ever did.

Maybe Sam thought it was common sense.

She wants to punch herself in the face.

Josh hesitates and Kenzie worries that he’s about to throw her from the mountain – deliriously, she thinks of Hephaestus being thrown from Olympus by Zeus – but he seems to find his words, seems to recover not so easily.

“Yeah,” he says. He clears his throat, turns his back and concentrates on the fire. “Guess it’s just a matter of taste.”

Kenzie’s not sure if she dodged the bullet or was hit squarely in the chest.

 _Jesus, god damn it,_ she thinks, throwing herself onto the sheet covered couch and putting her head in her hands. _Somebody draw the attention away from my blunder please_.

“This place barely looks any different,” Matt says and Kenzie could kiss him for piping up. The mood relaxes again and Josh finds it easier to answer that one ( _yeah, nobody’s been up here_ ).

Chris is stomping his feet to rid his boots of snow when Ashley joins the conversation, putting her proverbial foot in her mouth.

Kenzie feels the tension ease out of her shoulders and pile onto Ashley’s and she couldn’t be more grateful – even if her petite, wearing-a-cute-little-beanie-that-Kenz-is-extremely-jealous-of friend doesn’t realise what she’s done.

“Even with all the police coming in and out?”

 _At least I didn’t mention the police_ , Kenzie thinks.

“Not a lot of action up here lately,” adds Chris. Kenzie hates how no one feels even marginally as horrified as she was when she opened her mouth and _spoke_.

Josh’s voice is small in reply. “Nope.”

Kenzie knows a hint when she hears one, knows how to sense when a subject is off-limits. Apparently everyone else does too.

Matt’s hand brushes her knee and her eyes meet his. He’s smiling, small and comforting, encouraging, and Kenzie blinks to stop herself from bursting into tears over nothing.

“You good?” he asks quietly. No one even hears.

Kenzie nods. “I’m good.”

“ _What’s up party people_?”

Mike swaggers in just like he did a year ago, that same phrase uttered in the exact same tone. Kenzie remembers the way Hannah had practically swooned, heart eyes following Mike the whole night. She eyes the blonde bombshell following behind him, the new girlfriend, finds herself hating her confident strut despite being friendly enough to her when she’d met them at the top of the mountain.

It had been different there, she reasons. The night had been ahead of them, Kenzie had been tired, unsure, but now she’s awake, back in the lodge with memories pulling at her mind. She feels like being back at the lodge is an open wound and Jessica and Mike being here with them is adding salt.

She doesn’t like that they can be here when Hannah and Beth can’t.

Kenzie sighs, drags herself to her feet, decides to busy her hands and mind and help Josh start the fire. She’s grown tired of watching him crouching there poking at all the wrong things. She winces when Mike spots her standing there by the couch.

“Hey, nice to see _Crazy_ finally decided to crawl out of her hole,” he announces, wearing a stupid smug grin like he’s waiting for applause. Kenzie rolls her eyes, doesn’t stop walking to the fireplace.

“Mike, hey,” she deadpans. “Nice to see you’re still a jackass.”

It seems to be an anniversary for more than one thing, Kenzie thinks, because she’s pretty sure she’d been in the lodge the last time she’d called Mike a jackass too.  

Mike’s grin doesn’t waver but he does sound sincere when he speaks again. “It’s good to see you too, Kenz.”

She’s taken aback, frozen, and she doesn’t know what to say. She swallows, nods, and leans on the wall beside where Josh crouches, staring at the floor. She’s only half aware of Josh and Mike squaring off with each other as Josh stands beside her, still staring at the fireplace like there’s heat crackling forth from it already.

Kenzie swallows. “Look, Josh, I’m sorry about before. I didn’t –“

“Don’t, Kenz. It’s fine. I do it too, sometimes.”

She considers her words, hopes to stop herself from digging a deeper hole. She rips her beanie from her head – plain black and worn, threads sticking out everywhere and would Ashley notice if she stole her beanie? – and runs her hands through her hair, biting her lip.

“I guess I just…” _forgot_. “It just slipped out.”

“Kenz, pretending that my sisters never even existed is worse than feeling bad for mentioning them.”

“You’re right. Sorry. It’s just… weird.”

Josh huffs. “Yeah. But we’re here to forget about that, remember? This is what they’d want, everyone together on the anniversary. Having fun.”

It’s the words he’d said on the video, she recognises them, but hearing them straight from the horse’s mouth makes her feel a little better. She nods, still clutching her beanie in her hand as she hugs her arms to herself.

“You’re right. Again. Sorry.”

He leans forward, breath hot on her cheek, and brushes her hair behind her ear. Kenzie doesn’t know why her stomach does flips – _he’s done this a million times before, chill_! – but she swallows again, tries to dislodge the damn lump in her throat stopping her from breathing properly.

She holds her breath, doesn’t know why, and is disappointed when he draws away. Over his shoulder, she sees Matt turn away from Mike, feels the tension ease out of the room as they take their seats.

Kenzie hates the way Jess and Mike snuggle against one another, can’t help but feel like that should be Hannah with him, no one else. That should be Hannah, finally happy, _not_ missing, _not dead_ , getting her happy ending.

It seems wrong to her that the person _most_ responsible for her friend’s disappearance is getting a happy ending she doesn’t deserve.

Jess catches her eye, waves at her with a broad – _smug_ – smile, and settles closer to Mike.

Kenzie’s wave is feeble at best and she forces herself to smile, forces herself to act genial despite the need to smack Jess across the face. She remembers meeting her at the station, when they came off the cable car, remembers how nonchalant she sounded, how easy she’d said, _Em’s out, I’m in,_ like it’s some sort of competition.

“Ugh,” she mutters, as soon as Jess turns back to Mike, stares _lovingly_ at the cocky asshole. Josh looks over his shoulder, brows furrowed, and nods slowly. His mouth opens in a wordless ‘ _ah_ ’ and he faces her again.

“Didn’t think you felt that way about Mike, Kenz,” he murmurs, leaning in close again. He’s smiling, tight-lipped, eyes dark. Kenzie frowns, peers at him, can’t quite understand why he would say that.

“What? No,” she answers, voice just as low as his. “I _feel_ that it’s bad taste for them to be together up here. It’s like they’re rubbing it in Hannah’s face.”

Josh’s expression turns pained and he draws away – for good, this time. Kenzie thrusts her hands in her back pockets to stop herself from reaching out for him, to stop herself from grabbing at him and apologising over and over again.

 _Jesus_ , she thinks, throwing her head back, staring at the landings and the ceiling so far above her. _Somebody just shoot me now. Stop me before I say anything else._

She traipses back to the couch, slumps on it and all but clings to the side, refuses to look at Jess and Mike on the other side.

Emily enters at just the right moment, strides in, takes one look at Jess and Mike on the couch and scoffs loudly. All eyes are on her, just the way she likes it, has always liked it, and by the look of contempt on her face, Kenzie finds it hard to believe that she and Jess were once inseparable.

“Oh, my God. That is _so_ gross. Are you trying to swallow his face whole?”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

She stands tall and straight, head held high, arms across her chest, glaring down at the two lovebirds on the couch. Kenzie holds her tongue, rolls her eyes when she catches Sam gaze on her. Sam huffs a laugh, nods in agreement, leans her elbows on her knees where she sits on the stairs. Ashley and Chris loiter nearby, making quiet chat, seeming to be trying to look anywhere but at the two girls in the centre of the room.

 _Not like you and Mike were the exact same last year or anything, Em_ , Kenzie feels like saying, if she had the courage to pipe up and get in the middle of the stare down – _glare_ down – happening exactly where Mike and Matt had nearly gotten into it not five minutes before.

“Seriously, can she be any more obvious?” Emily asks, speaking over Matt’s warning. She waves towards Jessica, adds patronisingly, “Nobody wants in on your territory, _honey_.”

Kenzie hates the way she says _honey_ to Jessica, recalls the year before when the word had been said between two friends who cared about each other, who _loved_ each other.

Now it’s said condescendingly, accompanied by narrowed eyes and scowls and bared teeth.

Josh is leaning by the fireplace, eyes watching the two women carefully. Kenzie tries to meet his eyes, tries to gauge how he feels about this whole situation – they’d narrowly avoided Matt and Mike going at it but another fight in so little time?

 _Hannah and Beth wouldn’t want this_ , Kenzie thinks. She gets to her feet, wrings her hat in her hands to distract and calm herself.

“Em, come on,” she says quietly but loud enough for her pretty friend’s eyes to narrow in her direction.

“Come on, _Kenz_ ,” Emily snaps impatiently in her direction. “Look at them - they’re making everyone here uncomfortable.”

“It’s no different than when you Mike were together last year, _Em_ , come on.”

“It’s plenty _different_ , I wasn’t stinking up the room with my _sluttiness_.”

“Excuse _me_ , did you say something?”

Jessica steps between Kenzie and Emily, hand gently pushing Kenzie out of the way. Matt is on his feet, hand on Kenzie’s elbow, reminding her of outside, gently pulling her away from where Emily and Jessica are really going for it.

 “Oh, did you not hear me? Was your sluttiness too loud?”

“Sounds like someone’s bitter she didn’t make the cut.”

Kenzie looks helplessly at Mike, gestures towards his girlfriend, hates the way he shrugs back at her, lounges back on the couch without a care in the world.

“Yeah, it’s all a big cattle call with that _dreamboat_ ,” Emily drawls. “Congrats, you’re top cow.”

“Cuts _real deep_ calling Miss Homecoming a _cow_ ,” Jessica answers without missing a beat.

Kenzie rolls her eyes, throws up her hands and turns away, wishing she could wash her hands of the whole thing, forgetting why she came back up here in the first place. This is the first she’s heard about the Homecoming dance, the first she’s heard that Jess was even crowned Miss Homecoming. She hadn’t gone, had decided she’d rather stay home, rather watch her favourite films and imagine she wasn’t alone, that Beth was sitting with her, eating all her popcorn and making stupid jokes through the middle of her favourite moments.

Josh is shaking his head, arms across his chest, glowering at the floor. Matt rubs the back of his neck, looks between the two arguing woman like he’s not sure what to say.

“H-hey, _you’re_ making everyone uncomfortable, Jess –“

Jess scoffs. “Jealous, much? Emily too frigid for you too?”

Kenzie thinks that’s a low blow, no matter the situation.

“Jess, come on,” she says, coming to stand beside Matt again, “that’s _really_ uncalled for.”

“Oh, _please_ , go crawl back into the crazy hole you climbed out of, Kenz.”

Kenzie blinks, can hardly believe Jess said that to her. Josh pushes off the wall, seems to have finally had enough. He comes up to stand beside her, his hand replacing Matt’s but landing gently on her arm. Kenzie nearly flinches, habit after doing the same thing for nearly a year, a habit she can’t quite kick yet, and he moves his arm to circle her shoulders.

Matt speaks up, points at Jess. “That’s uncalled – _look_ –“

“Whatever,” Jess says, turning her back on them and looking to Mike. Mike shrugs again, looks like he doesn’t want to get involved – and for good reason. “I don’t give a crap what you think.”

“At least I _can_   think,” Emily retorts. “4.0, _bitch_. Honour roll. Suck on _that_ while you’re trying to sleep your way into a job.”

“ _Emily_ ,” Kenzie warns. She can’t help but feel like this is a year of pent up hatred Emily has built up for Jess, ever since the prank, ever since her break up with Mike. Were Emily and Jessica ever actually _really_ friends?

Josh squeezes her shoulder and she relaxes against him.

“Who needs grades when you’ve got all the natural advantages you can handle?”

“Oh, _please_.”

“Jess, for the love of _god_ –“

“You couldn’t buy a mouldy loaf of bread with your skanky ass.”

Emily laughs and Kenzie hates how she can be throwing insult after insult while wearing the same smile she’s greeted her friends with so many times, the same smile she used to greet Hannah with at school.

“Are you serious? Do you actually think that’s insulting?”

“Emily, _stop._ ” Matt cuts in, stepping forward, getting in between them. “This is out of hand. There’s no reason to fight like this.”

“Yeah, Em, why you pickin’ fights over your ex-boyfriend? Hm?”

Kenzie slips out of Josh’s hold, feels like she needs to say something to defend Emily, remembers that while Emily wanted to stake her claim over her boyfriend, it hadn’t actually been her idea to _prank_ Hannah.

“Jessica, _back off_ ,” she barks. “Everybody knows you guys are a thing now, so how ‘bout you just leave it alone, yeah?”

“Oh, come on, Kenz, like you even care. There’s still time for you to get off the mountain, save everyone the trouble of having to help you out when you go _crazy_ again –“

“Alright, _stop it_.”

Josh is beside her, hands out, palms outstretched, glowering at Jessica, looking between her and Emily.

“This is _not_ why we came up here. This is not – _helping_. It’s not what I wanted.”

Kenzie looks at the floor, pulls at the beanie she still clutches in her hand. Emily scoffs, looks away at the same moment Jessica does. Matt takes Emily’s hand, pulls her towards the doorway, away from where Jessica is still itching to fight.

Josh takes a deep breath. “If we can’t get along for ten minutes then maybe we need a little bit of a break, right?”

Kenzie almost wishes that Matt and Mike had actually gone at it, had grappled with each other where Jess and Em stand now. At least then it might have spared her from Jessica’s harsh words, might have forced them to leave before Emily even arrived at the lodge.

Kenzie hardly even pays attention to what Josh says after that, turns away and hugs herself, still clutching her beanie and thinking it’s probably ruined. Sam comes up behind her, hands on her arms, worried and unsure.

“You okay?” she speaks quietly, hands squeezing Kenzie’s arms. Kenzie flinches again, ghosts of stinging pains on her arms flaring in the back on her mind. She shrinks away from Sam, pulls her arms towards herself protectively.

“’m fine,” she mutters.

Sam doesn’t look convinced. Chris comes up behind Sam, Ashley follows him. They all look concerned, eyes on her watching, watching, _caring_ , and Kenzie hates it, _hates it_ –

“Guys, come on, lay off her,” Josh’s hands land on her shoulders and she flinches, comes out from under them, still clutching her beanie, still feeling ghost pains, still worrying that they can all _see_ –

Josh shows his hands, palms up, and Kenzie calms. She takes a deep, shuddering breath, feels it at the base of her spine, in her churning stomach. Her hands are shaking, her throat burns with the threat of approaching tears.

She sighs, tired, and swallows against the burn.

“I need a nap,” she mutters, defeated.


	4. Steady [Eight Hours Until Dawn]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenzie snoops around and finally has her nap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mad rush to get this one out for you guys. I was at a house party last night, working the rest of the week, and today was literally the only day I could write this for you guys. Still forever grateful to everyone giving this fic a shot, I hope you guys are enjoying it, and thanks so much for leaving kudos, commenting and just reading it. Thank you! <3 
> 
> Typical that it would be the week _after_ I said Sunday would be my update day. *face-palm* 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy! Exciting stuff happening next chapter ;)! 
> 
> Chapter Soundtrack - 'Steady', by The Staves

It’s quiet now without Jess and Emily at each other’s throats.

Kenzie’s holding tight to her iPod, wishing she could push the buds in her ears and escape from everything but not wanting to seem rude. Chris and Ashley are whispering off to the side, heads bowed together, close but still not there.

 _They’re not talking about you, they’re not talking about you_.

Kenzie has her eyes closed, lounging back on the empty couch, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. Josh is still messing with the fireplace and she hears him shouting to Sam, asking her to help, _flirting_ with her and _god_ , it takes everything in Kenzie not to get jealous.

She _knows_ Sam’s relationship with Josh, knows the relationship Sam had with Hannah. Jealousy is uncalled for here.

She hears footsteps on the walkways above her, wonders what Sam’s doing up there that’s taking her so long to get in her bath.

“How long do you think it’ll take him?” Kenzie hears Chris whisper.

She opens her eyes, tilts her head to look at the pair, hovering near the fireplace where Josh is crouching, still struggling to heat the room up.

“My money’s on blankets for everyone,” Ashley replies, smirking. Kenzie shakes her head, hopes Josh won’t look up and see her smile, see her agreement. Hannah was always the best at starting the fire, knew exactly what to do and when.

“You can do it, man, we believe in you!”

Kenzie closes her eyes again, throws her head back once more as Ashley starts a chant that quickly grows annoying. Kenzie sighs, starts unwinding knot her earbuds have tangled themselves into. Ashley quiets, looks at the floor as she notices Kenzie’s fingers, tugging apart knots.

“Alright, peanut gallery, you know what?” Josh is on his feet, turning to Chris and Ashley, wiping his hands on his jeans. “I got an idea for you guys.”

“Um, who are you calling _peanut gallery_?” Kenzie cuts in, eyebrows raised, and she watches Josh’s face as he looks at her, watches the smirk tilt his lips.

“Aw, come on Kenz, you know that wasn’t directed at you.”

He winks at her and Kenzie’s grateful for the room’s darkness. The last thing she needs is for Josh to see the blood rushing to her face, flushing her cheeks.

 _You wanted him to flirt, didn’t you_? She scolds herself, fanning her face as soon as Josh turns away.

“Okay, well, I am _pretty_ sure that _some_ where in this crazy place we used to have…” he pauses, looks between the three of them with a mischievous glint in his eyes. “A spirit board.”

“A what?” Ashley quizzes, confused, at the same time Chris says excitedly, sarcastically, “Wow, you have a spirit board?”

Kenzie watches Sam come down the stairs, sees the frown marring her features, hears her boots landing heavily on each steps as she storms towards them.

“Yeah,” Josh says. He doesn’t look back at the stairs, gives no indication that he’s aware of Sam coming towards them. “They’re fun, right?”

 _No_ , Kenzie thinks. She catches Ashley’s eyes, see her friend shifting uncomfortably.

“Wait,” Ashley says, hugging her arms, rubbing at them. She’s shed her jacket, prepared for the fire that they still haven’t got burning and is walking around in her hoodie. “Are you saying we should have a séance?”

Kenzie doesn’t like the idea any more than Ashley does. She gets to her feet, joins the small group as Sam approaches. Chris shakes his head, waves his hands like he’s brushing his troubles away.

“Those things are a joke, man,” he says, a hint of a laugh in his voice, a carefree smile on his face. “They don’t do shit.”

“No way, bro,” Josh says. “We used to do it all the time. Me and…”

His voice trails off but Kenzie doesn’t need him to finish his sentence, none of them do. The mischievous twinkle in his eyes from earlier is gone, replaced by a lingering sadness that Kenzie has a feeling is always hidden inside him.

Like her.

Kenzie remembers what Josh said earlier – _It’s okay, Kenz, I do it too, sometimes_ – and she coughs lightly, shakes her head to clear her dark hair from her eyes.

 She steps in, gives her two cents before things get more awkward.

 “You do not mess with those things,” she says, shaking her head, completely serious.

“Come on, Kenz, live a little,” Josh says, all traces of his sadness from before gone. She smiles, shakes her head, refuses to back down.

“No way,” she says, chuckling. “I’ll be going for a nap that’s long overdue. You guys are welcome to try it though.”

“Coward,” Josh jokes.

Kenzie nods, unashamed. “Yup.”

“Hey, Josh,” Sam calls, stopping beside them, joining their little gathering. “No hot water’s kinda a major oversight, doncha think?”

Josh grins, nods. “Yeah, yeah. Just gotta fire up the boiler. It’s in the basement.”

“Ha, yeah. Well, I’m sure you guys can take care of that. No way am I going down there in the dark.” Kenzie lifts her hands, backs away and throws herself onto the couch once more.

“Okay, Kenz,” Josh says with a laugh. He gestures to Chris and Ashley. “You can go with these dorks and find the spirit board.”

“Ha, ha. _No_. I’m not messing about with that thing. No chance.”

“Aw, come on, Kenz, it won’t be that bad,” Chris says. He’s sitting on the couch beside her, relaxed, unhurried. “They don’t even _do_ anything.”

“I’m not messing with it, Chris.”

“Come on, Chris, let’s go find it!” Ashley cuts in. Kenzie’s eyebrow lifts as she watches Ashley hurry past her. “It’ll be like a scavenger hunt!”

Chris sighs, gets up to follow her. He looks over his shoulder at her. “Enjoy your nap. Wish I was taking one too.”

Kenzie smirks, can’t stop the words from tumbling out of her mouth. “Later, babe. Later.”

 _Oh my god, what the hell, why did you_ say _that?_

She wonders where the nearest wall is and if she can put her head through it.

But Chris just laughs, follows after Ashley like the lovesick puppy he is. Sam looks amused, watching the interaction and knowing how uncomfortable Kenzie has made herself.

She groans. “How do I manage it?”

Sam’s silent amusement turns into laughter and she claps Kenzie on the shoulder, her merriment bubbling into nothing as she walks away, towards the basement.

“You up for a ride-along?” Josh asks Sam. His legs are longer, he walks faster, and he’s in front of her in no time at all. He calls over his shoulder, “Don’t sleep for too long, Kenz!”

By the time she replies, the two of them have left, and she’s alone.

“I’ll try not to.”

It feels colder now that she’s alone, looking around herself and feeling the same as she did outside the cable car station. She opens her mouth and _words_ happen and _why_ does it happen? How can people not feel embarrassed every time they open their mouths and their jokes backfire?

Kenzie sighs, runs her hands through her hair and gets to her feet. She doesn’t feel like napping anymore, not yet anyway, not with her thoughts running rampant over some silly slip of the tongue.

“Ugh,” she groans, heading for the stairs. She takes them two at a time, a habit she’s never been able to break, and heads for the bathroom. “Sam had the right idea. A bath would be great right about now.”

She spies the door to Beth’s bedroom before she can go to the bathroom, and curiosity overrules caution. Josh wouldn’t like her rummaging through Beth’s things, wouldn’t like her disturbing the room when it’s exactly the way she left it.

But Beth was her best friend and she _needs_ this.

Kenzie expects the door to be locked, expects her curiosity to be nipped in the bud before it can grow into anything more. But it gives, creaks like every other door in this house, and Kenzie can smell Beth’s perfume, lingering in the air. She always smelled so nice, always wore perfume far too expensive for Kenzie but somehow always what Beth considered to be _cheap_.

“Not what I’d usually spend,” she told her after she’d bought her first bottle, spraying it on Kenzie’s wrist to let her smell. “It’s quite cheap but it’s lovely.”

Kenzie had taken a look at the price tag and nearly choked. “You think this is _cheap_?”

There’s dust in the air, on the furniture, on the floor. The outfits she’d picked out for the rest of the weekend are still hanging in front of her wardrobe, the matching shoes still sit untouched underneath them. Kenzie can barely see her own reflection through the dust coating the mirror.

Her bed is still neatly made, its cushions in place, the specific order she always had them in.

Kenzie can’t find it in herself to disturb them. Just being in the room feels like she’s intruding, even though she’s been in here a thousand times before.

Nothing in this room has changed, not a damn thing, but outside it everything is different.

On the dresser is Beth’s photo album, the one Hannah got her, with the flowers and the butterflies on it. Hannah loved butterflies, Kenzie remembers, and this was the album she’d gotten her sister for their sixteenth birthday.

Kenzie doesn’t touch it, can’t bring herself to, but just looking at it doesn’t seem like _enough_.

It’s when she’s staring at it, contemplating if it’s absolutely _necessary_ for her to look at it, when she notices it.

The dust on the album has already been disturbed.

There are marks on the album, long and thin, like someone has recently drawn their fingers across the cover. She frowns, bites the bullet, and picks up the album.

She thinks this must have been what Sam was doing before, when Kenzie heard her footsteps above her before she came down to them.

Who else could have disturbed the dust?

The album falls open on a night Kenzie remembers well: prom. There’s a copy of the photo Hannah had, the one of Emily and Mike and Hannah and Sam, and directly beneath it is a photo of Beth and Kenzie. They’d gone alone, both of them dateless, but Kenzie still considered it to be one of the best nights of her life.

Beth said they’d be each other’s dates and they didn’t need any men. They’d bought each other’s corsages, Beth picked her up in her car, and they’d danced until they couldn’t anymore.

Her smile is sad as she flicks through the other photos – _she remembers that one, remembers how Hannah had fallen, how_ angry _she’d been that they were laughing at her, especially because_ Mike _was there_ – until she sees only blank pages, until the memories end.

She wants to take the book with her, hide it in her bag, never let anyone else see it. She can’t imagine what Josh would think if she took it.

She settles instead for taking the prom photo, folding it up and slipping it into her back pocket. One photo, that’s all she needs. Josh probably doesn’t even look in the album anymore, why does it matter?

 _It’s just one photo_ , she tells herself but it doesn’t stop the anxious churning in her stomach, nor the guilt that follows her from the room. _It’s just one photo_.

She hears voices downstairs, the others coming back from the basement. She hears laughter and angry words, hears Ashley’s question just as she rounds the corner to the stairs – “ _What the hell are you wearing_?” – and the photo in her back pocket feels heavy.

Josh glances up as she’s coming down and Sam is on her way up, shaking her head. She looks like she _needs_ a bath and Kenzie wonders what the hell happened down in the basement.

Chris is stripping out of a monk costume when she reaches the floor and Kenzie spots the spirit board on the table beside him. She throws up her hands, sits on the edge of the couch.

“I can’t believe you guys are actually going to do that,” she mutters. “I might go join Sam in the bath.”

“ _That_ I’d like to see,” Josh says with a stupid grin.

Kenzie throws up the finger. “Keep dreaming.”

“What were you doing upstairs?” he surprises her by asking and Kenzie has a moment of stupid panic, of _oh my god, he knows, he_ knows _,_ even though that’s impossible.

She shrugs, hides her shaking hands and hopes her voice doesn’t break. “I needed to use the bathroom.”

 _It’s just one photo, just one photo._ _He probably won’t care anyway_.

“There’s one down here, Kenz.”

He says it like he’s talking to a child and Kenzie feels like one. The child who stole the last cookie out of the jar, who will be caught any moment with something she shouldn’t have.

She laughs, real and nervous, because she’s not lying now. “Oops. I forgot.”

Josh shakes his head like he can’t believe her – and he doesn’t know the _half_ of it; he wouldn’t be laughing this much about her rubbish memory if he knew what she’d been doing up there, what she’d _done_ – and walks away, back to Chris and Ashley.

Chris is holding up the spirit board, monk costume abandoned at his feet. “You sure you don’t want in on this, Kenz?”

He’s waving it around his head like it doesn’t mean a thing, like it’s not dangerous. Chris might not believe in that kind of thing, but Kenzie _does_ and she’s not going to mess around in things that are better left alone.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Not particularly keen to talk to potentially murderous beings. Have fun though.”

“Eh, your loss,” he replies easily.

She watches them leave, watches their backs until they’ve disappeared up the stairs. She’s alone again, holding her iPod in one hand and hiding the stolen picture in her back pocket and wondering how likely it is that they’ll decide to go into Beth’s room.

It’s not likely, she knows that, the rational part of her mind _knows_ that, but the panicking side, the side her anxiety stems from is telling her that they _might_ , that it’s _possible_ and she’ll be _caught_.

Kenzie draws her hand down her face with a groan, throws her head back to stare at the ceiling so far above her and wishes she could scream.

Instead she puts her earbuds in, throws herself onto the couch and finally takes her long needed nap.  


	5. Seven Devils [Six Hours Until Dawn]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenzie wakes up and is chased by a psycho.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha ha ha. So, updating on Sunday's turned out to be a complete _bust_. Honestly seems like everything has just exploded at home right now, but I promise updating and finishing this fic is my main priority. 
> 
> [Also, on a side note, _**holy freaking moly a fic I wrote got over a thousand hits, holeeeee shiiiit**_ ]
> 
> Now, I wrote and rewrote and edited and finally got happy with this chapter. I hope you enjoy it and it encourages you to leave kudos and comment.  
> Thanks guys!

She doesn’t dream.

When she eventually begins to rouse, it’s with that feeling of bewilderment, the rapid blinking of her eyes as she tries to figure out just _how_ she lost so much time. She adjusts her position on the couch, tries to return to the comfortable position she had before, the one that had taken her so long before.

 _Always forget how much I hate this couch,_ she grumbles to herself.

Kenzie recalls the year before, when she’d gone for her nap, the way Hannah had jokingly said, ‘ _good luck, that couch is a bitch to get to sleep on_ ’. Kenzie hadn’t believed her. The couch had always been more than comfortable whenever she was sitting on it, only the _best_ for the Washington’s, after all.

And that was the problem, she soon realised, it was _too_ comfortable.

She sinks into the cushions whenever she gets half-way relaxed. It makes it impossible for her to want to change position because it wakes her right up whenever she moves.

Kenzie mutters to herself, stays lying on her back, closes her eyes again. She doesn’t want to check her phone, doesn’t want to disturb the peace she’s created for herself.

Music still plays loudly in her ears, a catchy pop song she’d put on there in a moment of weakness and a lot of bugging from Hannah. It drowns out any noise in the lodge, any noise from outside, the nervous churning in her stomach.

 _I’m not getting up_ , she tells herself. _I’m not_.

The music drowns out the angry stomps coming down the stairs as Sam approaches her, brandishing a sock in one hand, a flashlight in the other and wearing a scowl. Her eyes widen as she looks beyond Sam’s furious expression to the stairs, the bannister, the _candles_ and _balloons_. She spies the little arrows, pointing at her on the couch, wonders what kind of game is being played here. Kenzie frowns, ignores the nervous hitch of her breath as sits up in time for Sam to toss the appendage in her face.

She grunts in surprise, knocks the sock to the floor, and tugs the buds from her ears. “Sam, the hell?”

“Ha- _ha_ , Kenz, very _funny_ ,” she snaps and Kenzie realises Sam is wearing a towel and nothing else. Her brows furrow in confusion.

“What?”

“My _clothes_ , Kenz, where are they?”

“ _What_?” Kenzie gets to her feet and shakes her head. She gestures around herself, at the couch where she hasn’t moved in who knows how long. Music still plays from her iPod and she idly pulls the device from her pocket to switch it off. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Who else could it be?” Sam barks, standing in front of her with her arms folded. Kenzie sees the goose bumps rising on her skin, knows herself that it’s still pretty cold in the lodge.

“Sam,” Kenzie starts and she blinks slowly. She mirrors Sam’s stance back at her. “You _know_ how I feel about pranks.”

The scowl doesn’t fully disappear from Sam’s face but Kenzie sees the tension ease from her shoulders. She drops her arms back to her sides and Kenzie follows suit.

“Sorry,” Sam sighs after a moment. She rubs her hands up and down her arms, tries to warm herself up. Kenzie shrugs out of her hoody and hands it to her. It’s her favourite one, the blue and brown one with the _Assassin’s Creed_ logo on the back, and the phantom blade design on the left sleeve.

“Here,” she says, “we’ll find your clothes and you can give it back to me.”

Without the extra layer, Kenzie immediately feels the biting chill of the lodge. Even with the long sleeved t-shirt she wears, she can feel the hairs rising on her arms. She tugs her beanie out of her back pocket, adjusts it on her head, finds it doesn’t help the chill at all.

“I’ve checked upstairs,” Sam tells her, “there’s no one around except you.”

Kenzie shoots her a look that’s both bemused and curious. “Huh,” she says. She feels like her eyebrows have risen into her hairline. “That’s weird. Where did everyone go?”

Sam shrugs. “I was hoping you’d know.”

“I haven’t seen anyone since my nap.”

“You didn’t hear anything?”

Kenzie gestures helplessly to her iPod in her pocket, the earbuds dangling down her leg. “Nope.”

“Okay,” breathes Sam. “I’m sure they’re around here somewhere.”

Kenzie nods. “We’ll find them and kick their _asses_.”

She doesn’t like how nervous Sam looks, doesn’t like the way it makes her heart race and her stomach churn. She glances back the way Sam had come, at the stairs alight with candles and the small balloons with white arrows on them. She bites her lip.

“I guess we follow the arrows,” she says, hugging herself, taking a deep breath to ease her nerves.

It’s far too quiet with just the two of them, and the only sound in the lodge is the scuff of Kenzie’s sneakers on the floor at their feet. It’s odd, Kenzie thinks, for it to be so quiet when not too long ago – _how long was it, an hour_? – they’d been laughing and joking about spirits boards and baths.

Kenzie wonders where Matt and Emily escaped off to, if they’ve even been back to the lodge yet, if they’ve found some romantic spot to cool off and remember why they’re all up there in the first place.

 _Their bags are still at the door_ , Kenzie notes, eying the five large holdalls Emily had brought with her.

“Jeez,” she mutters. “You’d think we were coming up here for a week.”

“Guys?” Sam calls suddenly. She’s walked further into the lodge, towards the home cinema, with Kenzie trudging along behind her. “ _Guys_? Come _on_!”

The flashlight is the only source of light they have and Kenzie wishes she could just snatch it from Sam’s hand to stop her from waving it around her head like a lunatic. She nearly does, following Sam into the large room, but she can’t get a word in through Sam’s tirade at their missing – or _hiding_ – friends.

Kenzie wonders bitterly if this is what it was like for Hannah last year, walking around the lodge without ever considering that it could end so _awfully_.

“I’ve always hated this room,” Kenzie says, trying to break the tension, hoping Sam will stop screaming her head off. “I don’t understand why they even _need_ a –“

The doors slam shut behind them and Kenzie cuts off with an embarrassing shriek, whirling around to stare at the double doors.

She swallows, whispers, “What the _fuck_?” and looks at her friend, wide eyed, panting and shivering. She’s not so sure if she’s shivering from just the cold anymore.

Kenzie thinks things can’t _possibly_ get any worse.

And then they _do_.

“ _Hello Samantha_ , _Mackenzie_.”

The voice is deep, distorted, disembodied, and Kenzie can’t find the source. The projector flickers to life and Kenzie spins again, can hardly keep up with the way things are going tonight. Their party to celebrate _life_ is quickly turning into a nightmare.

Kenzie can hardly hear what’s being said by the voice, can hardly hear Sam’s reply. She’s focussed on the screen, on the movie posters around the room, all of them horror films.

 _Have they always been there_? She wonders, _has it always been horror posters_?

It’s ironic, she thinks, that this whole scenario seems like one you’d find in a cheesy horror movie.

Sam is behind her now as Kenzie finds herself drawing closer to the screen, past the leather seats in the room, the ones that Kenzie thinks should be _in_ a cinema, not some stupid room like this one. She hears Sam freaking out behind her, sees the beam of the flashlight darting around the walls.

Something is drawing her closer to the screen, some sense of dread, but she’s waiting for Josh to pop out of the cupboard and scare the crap out of her, exclaim that it’s all one big joke like last year, before everything happened.

The flickering number images on the screen disappear and Kenzie feels Sam come up behind her, until their arms are brushing and they're watching the screen together with intense fear and bewilderment. Kenzie swallows, hears Sam’s hushed, “oh my god,” as a recording of her in the bath, bobbing her head to what Kenzie _knows_ was probably a classical song that she likes.

The feed changes and now it’s showing Kenzie, asleep on the couch, completely unaware of the _psycho_ filming her.

She distantly hears the voice, disturbing, say, “Do you think these were the last happy moments of this creature’s life?”

Kenzie can’t find the words to retaliate, to be _offended_ , and she says nothing as Sam starts to freak out, can’t find it in herself to even do _that_.

She’s frozen in place, staring at the screen as the feed changes again and _oh, god_ , she’s going to _vomit_.

Kenzie finally looks away, tears burning her eyes, throat burning, and she hears Sam shouting. Kenzie’s hand has come up to her mouth and she’s gagging but there’s nothing to come up, she hasn’t had anything to eat since breakfast, too worried and nervous about tonight, sure that anything she would have had would’ve come back on her before she even got up here.

She can hear the saw, hear the _screams_ – _oh, god, Josh_ – and the thump, Ashley _shrieking_ , Chris shouting and, _god,_ she can remember hearing Chris’s voice before, remembers passing it off as just a figment of her imagination.

Was this why?

Kenzie is sobbing hysterically, tears blurring her vision, unable to focus on anything but the floor as she sinks towards it, her hand gripping the back of the couch with fingers like claws. Sam is pulling at her arm, trying to get her to her feet while she mutters “no, no, no” under her breath. Someone is counting down, Kenzie hears it, that voice, counting down.

But to what?

“ _Kenzie, please_!”

She gets her feet under her in time for the double doors to be thrown open, in time of the _psycho_ to stride towards them, a hint of a limp in his stride, a gas canister held in one hand. Kenzie’s breath hitches as she braves looking at his face, the dirty black hair, the pale _white_ , the dark holes where his eyes are meant to be.

 _It’s a mask_ , she’s thinking, _It’s only a mask_ , but for the life of her she can’t stop crying, can’t forget Josh’s screams, the shrieking and _god_ , she just wants to curl up into a ball and lament losing everyone she’s ever loved.

Sam grasps the vase at her left, launches it at the psycho, tugs Kenzie behind her as she bolts for the door. Kenzie’s slowing her down but Sam won’t leave her behind, dragging through door after door, saying, “shit, shit, _shit_ ,” like a mantra.

Kenzie can’t even see properly, can’t even _breathe_ properly, but she forces herself to clamber over the bed after Sam does, forces herself to keep moving forward, to _get away_.

She’s coming back to herself, slowly, at all the wrong times, and Sam is still clutching her hand tightly, in a death grip, even though she doesn’t need to anymore. She uses her free hand to wipe her eyes and nose, follows Sam down the stairs into the basement, nearly trips on the busted bottom step.

Kenzie remembers what she said earlier, when Sam and Josh were coming down here, when they’d offered for her to come with them, before she’d _stolen that photo_ : _No way am I going down there in the dark._

The only light they have is the flashlight, the beam waving around their heads frantically as they run. Kenzie can hear the laboured breathing of the psycho, can hear the metal canister brushing the concrete floor at their feet.

“What do we do?” Sam’s muttering hastily. She points the beam towards the boiler, towards the empty hallway with the door at the end. “ _What do we do_?”

Kenzie points to the door, eyes the baseball bat leaning on the box beside the boiler.

“Run,” she says to Sam while she darts for the bat. She hears Sam shout her name, hears her bare feet smack against the floor as she run towards the door. The bat is heavy and familiar in her hands, memories surge to the forefront of her mind; Beth handing her the bat, smiling, carefree, Josh shouting taunts at her, throwing the ball between his hands.

She runs to the doorway just in time for the psycho to come round the corner, in time for him to point at her. If he’d done that five minutes ago, Kenzie thinks, she would have sobbed, fallen to the floor, _Josh_ repeated over and over again in her head.

 _Kill me_ , she knows she would have said. _Just do it_.

She lifts the bat, narrows her eyes at him, everything about her screaming, _come at me. Let’s dance_ , _bastard_.

“ _Kenzie_!”

She bolts after Sam, leaps over the wine case she’s hauled down, doesn’t have the time to quiz her. She’s fumbling at the door, struggling to fit the handle in the tiny slot. Kenzie hears crunching under foot, turns to find the psycho stomping towards them, canister lifted. This close to him, she sees the blood spatters on the front of his suit, knows that it’s probably Josh’s.

She sees red.

Kenzie swings as hard as she can and smiles in satisfaction when she feels the wood make contact with psycho’s arm.

He stumbles to the side, the canister catching on the wall where the case used to be. He grunts, shouts in rage as Kenzie sprints through the door after Sam, helps her slide the bolts home.

 _That was for Josh, you sick bastard_.

She leaps back when the psycho slams his hands on the door that separates them, gasping, bat falling from her hands and landing on the stone floor. Kenzie clutches her stomach, leans against the door, slides to the floor, can’t catch her breath.

She has her head in her hands as she takes deep breaths, struggling to get herself together, knowing she can’t stay there. Sam’s hand is soft and gentle on her arm, helping her to her feet. Her foot brushes the bat as she passes it, leaving it there at the door.

Her hands are shaking and Sam clutches her arm tightly. Kenzie can’t even find it in herself to flinch as she glances down, realising just where her friend’s hand is.

 _Can she feel them through my sleeve_? Kenzie thinks, brows furrowed. _Does she know they’re there_?

Sam releases her arm to try the door handle in front of them and Kenzie looks around, only just realising they’re in a small room. A laundry room, she thinks, looking at what she thinks is an old washing machine.

“Kenz,” Sam says. Her voice is hushed, hurried, and Kenzie’s dark hair falls over her shoulder as she turns to look at her. “Can you help me with this?”

Together they shoulder the door open, lose their footing as soon as they stumble into the cold hallway. Kenzie regrets giving Sam her hoody, wishes she’d kept it for herself, because it’s _freezing_.

“Whoa,” she breathes. “I didn’t even know this was down here.”

It looks like the hallway has been here for a long time, abandoned and falling apart. Light filters through from above, the floor is uneven and there are floorboards littered all over it.

“Come on,” Sam mutters, leading the way.

It’s silent except for their breathing, quick and frightened, and Kenzie lingers behind Sam, hands shaking in her nerves, stomach churning. Her cheeks are sticky from her tears and she dabs at them with her sleeves, rubs the skin until it’s red.

 _Don’t cry again_ , she tells herself, steeling her spine. _No more tears_.

Sam stops ahead of her, mutters over and over again, “Crap, oh, _crap_.” She’s panicking, shaking more than Kenzie is, looking back and forth between the busted elevator and the hallway that continues on. Kenzie’s legs are like jelly and she thinks if she has to run again, their luck will run out.

She reaches out to grasp Sam’s arm, to warn her that she shouldn’t –

Sam takes off down the hall, leaving Kenzie behind. It’s probably not intentional, she thinks, Sam is probably expecting her to be right behind her. Her eyes dart to Sam’s back where she sprints round the corner, then back to the elevator, where she knows she’ll be able to squeeze in there, wait the psycho out.

 _I can’t leave Sam_ , she tells herself, shaking her head. _I’ll get her and then_  -

She hears Sam scream, takes a step in the direction it comes from but stops. She hates herself for hesitating, hates herself even more for scrambling into the gap in the elevator doors.

She holds her breath, pushes her body back against the wall directly below the gates. She shuts her eyes, puts a hand over her mouth to stifle her panicked gasps of breath.

She can _hear_ him above her, can hear the metal scraping the stone, hear his heavy breaths.

 _He’s going to find me_ , she thinks, eyes wide as she stares at the ceiling. Tears burn, blurring her vision. _Damn it_.

But he turns and walks away, and Kenzie listens to the metal until she can’t hear it anymore.

She doesn’t move.

She doesn’t breathe.

She’s not sure how much time passes, five minutes or ten, but it’s not until she hears a door slam closed far, far away that she lets herself breathe properly, that she lets herself take in a deep breath.

 _God_ , she thinks, wiping at her eyes again, knowing they must be red and blotchy by now. _I should have done more_.

 _I should have done_ more _._

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me [here](http://frostyflowersinsummer.tumblr.com/) if you fancy a chat :)


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